Send in the Clowns

Demonstrating once again his uncanny ability to present himself as a clueless rich guy, Mitt Romney last week told CNN, "I'm not concerned about the very poor. We have a safety net there." Not to be outdone, metaphorically speaking, Newt said a day or so later, “What the poor need is a trampoline, so that they can spring up… So I’m for replacing the safety net with a trampoline.”

I'm not so sure that the poor need either a net or a trampoline. I think that if you are poor, what you really need is a trapeze! Am I right? Tell me I'm right. Wait, maybe not a trapeze. How about… a tightrope! How about if we teach the poor to juggle? Come to think of it, I guess that what the poor need most is to juggle flaming batons while riding a unicycle across a tightrope.

Or maybe what the poor really need is… decent schools? Safe and affordable housing? Reliable transportation? Protection from legal rackets like payday lending? Healthy food at reasonable prices? Could it be that some substantive policies and programs might be more effective at helping people out of poverty than abstract metaphors? I dunno, I'm just thinking out loud here…

Have I got an idea for you! No, seriously…